Overcoming Deployment One Day at a Time

The Five Stages

on August 23, 2012

*To all my readers, I apologize for my recent absence.  I have no excuse other than not knowing where to go next.  I think I’ve found more inspiration, though.  Enjoy.*

I haven’t had a lot of time to write in a few days.  In the time I have found, I haven’t actually written, though.  Instead, I searched high & low for inspiration.


Since I lacked motivation as well, I gave up on the inspiration search pretty quickly.  I just haven’t been in the mood, ya know?

Perhaps the blogging world frowns upon me sharing my lack of drive, but I’m too new to know any better.  At least that’s my excuse.  After all, I am feeling a lack of consideration as well.

This past weekend & early week have just been one of those uneventful, lazy, selfish group of days.  Hmmm…Maybe this is stemming from pre-deployment woes?

Ah ha!  Inspiration!

Everyone knows about the 5 stages of loss and grief, right?

1. Denial & Isolation

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Go to this super informative psychology site to learn more about each of them.  If you haven’t already heard of these 5 stages, then read up!  It is always good to know you’re not alone in an emotional roller coaster when something terrible happens.

Motivation!  I want to know if everyone else goes through highs & lows during the weeks leading up to deployment.  I know I can’t be alone…and I’m not.

I found this blog entitled “Five Stages of Pre-Deployment.”  Well, that sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

In this blog the author delves into our inner struggles with denial, disbelief, anger, sadness and acceptance.  I’m certain each of us deal with these stages differently, and some (like myself) go back & forth through the stages.  Sometimes it happens all in one day; other times I get stuck in a certain stage for days.  Now I’m stuck in the disbelief & anger stages with a little acceptance thrown in.

I know from past experiences that when I’m in utter disbelief and/or angry I become uninspired, lack motivation and see the world through only my eyes.  A little sliver of me wishes I were out of the disbelief & anger stages and, instead, in denial.  When I’m in denial, I’m usually a little happier than normal and pretend life is great.  In denial, though, I have these constant, lingering knots in my stomach.  I know deep down that something is wrong.  Sadness usually hits soon after my denial stage; I come down like a ton of bricks.  Like with disbelief and anger, I become unmotivated during sadness.  I usually find myself sitting in front of the TV, ignoring the world around me.  As far as acceptance goes, well…I can feel hints of acceptance every once in a while.  There’s relief in acceptance.  There’s a peace that comes with that stage that I can’t explain, and it’s where I want to be.  I hope the acceptance stage hits me full on here fairly quickly since D-day is soon.

So that’s a quick overview of how I feel throughout these 5 stages of pre-deployment.  How do you feel?  What are your side effects of denial, disbelief, anger, sadness and acceptance?

7 responses to “The Five Stages

  1. kathrynann24 says:

    Saw you linked back to my blog post and came over to say thanks and hi. So sorry about your deployment news. You will get through the 5 stages, some are just harder than others. I will be praying for you, it’s hard and rough at times, but you will get through it, just don’t give up! 🙂

  2. baywifey270 says:

    Hi! Thank you!! I really enjoyed your blog. Knowing that other people have gone through (and are currently going through) the same feelings I’m having is so helpful & reassuring. Thanks again. =)

  3. I think I’m stuck on some half level between sadness and acceptance. I’m fine all day, everything is going relatively well, but as soon as I try to go to sleep in our bed, I lose my mind and can’t stop crying. I can sleep on the couch just fine. LOL I’m gonna put an air mattress in the bedroom if this keeps up. I can’t afford a new couch 🙂

    • baywifey270 says:

      I’m up & down all day. It’s better if I’m busy, but the split second I think, “Why in the world hasn’t he tried to contact me yet today,” I get crazy. It’s a mixture of sad tears and mad tears.

      • i got two text messages via skype last night… That’s it since we left him at the troop HQ the night he left. He told me he needs to charge his Nook and that the only signal requires him to walk all the way to the other side of the base LOL The things that are important of course 😉

  4. Y says:

    I know you are probably in stage….?? As am I, somewhere between 3-5 at this point, so stay up! My ARNG man left around the same time as yours. I hope you are doing well, and staying busy, and working on this great blog as well.

    All the best from New York

    PS Skype/G-chat is the best thing ever.

  5. baywifey270 says:

    Hi! Thanks for the comment. I am finally in the acceptance stage. I’m moving along quite nicely and finally finding time for this awesome blog again.
    Yes, Skype and G-Chat are amazing. When those don’t work for us, we chat on Facebook. Regardless, deployment cannot end quickly enough. I’m sure you know the feeling! 🙂

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